


Take Arms Against a Sea of Troubles

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert, References to Shakespeare, Shakespeare Quotations, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 13:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14333754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	Take Arms Against a Sea of Troubles

What was he supposed to do for the woman he loved? She was miserable, but she wouldn’t talk to him about anything. Was he being forceful enough in his search for answers? Was he doing enough?

Honestly, Aaron felt like he was caught between a rock and a hard place. If he came right out and said something, that thing that lurked in the back of his mind, that she wanted to die, it could do one of two things - she’d break down, admit it and get help, or she would turn him away. She’d stop talking to him. Isolate herself even more.

In any other situation, he’d know exactly what to tell someone in this situation. Take the risk. But this wasn’t any other situation. This was Y/N. The woman he loved. Was he still supposed to take the risk?

This feeling of loneliness was too much to take. How was she surrounded by people who loved her and yet still utterly miserable? No matter how hard she sought out an answer, it never came - and this feeling was too heavy to shoulder alone.

No one would understand how she could be so miserable. Especially Hotch. He loved her. She loved him. So what was wrong?

No.

Enough was enough.

When the decision was made, she scribbled down a passage that hit close to her heart, left it on the diary on the bed where they lay night after night and stood up - a weight lifted off her shoulders. It was the most clear-headed she’d been in years.

It was no longer a question.

\---

“Y/N?” 

Aaron called out as soon as he entered their apartment. With Jessica agreeing to watch Jack so that he could talk to Y/N, he returned home with the intent of being straightforward. Taking the risk.

He strode through the apartment, peeking into each room for any sign of her, but as each one turned up empty, he started to panic. Wide eyed, he ran through rooms, calling her name until he saw her diary on the bed. She never left it out.

A quick scan of the text-filled pages told him all he needed to know.

-What should such fellows as I do crawling between earth and  
heaven?

-To die: - to sleep: No more; and, by a sleep to say we end

And perhaps the most obvious clue. Queen Gertrude describing Ophelia’s death.

-There on the pendent boughs her coronet weeds  
Clamb'ring to hang, an envious sliver broke,  
When down her weedy trophies and herself  
Fell in the weeping brook. Her clothes spread wide,  
And mermaid-like, awhile they bore her up,  
Which time she chanted snatches of old lauds,  
As one incapable of her own distress  
Or like a creature native and endued  
Unto that element. But long it could not be  
Till that her garments, heavy with their drink,  
Pull’d the poor wretch from her melodious lay  
To muddy death.

The ceiling fan rattled a paper off the edge of the bed and onto the floor. He caught it just before it hit the floor.

-To be or not to be—that is the question:  
Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer  
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,  
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles  
And, by opposing, end them

As he ran out of the apartment, the paper rattled once more to the floor.

\---

Something about it happening this way made her feel better. She didn’t want those she loved to hurt. It was inevitable she supposed. At least this way, maybe Aaron could delude himself into believing that it had all been a tragic accident, rather than an intentional taking of her own life.

Stepping into the lake where she’d been so many times before, she slipped into the comfort of the water and dipped under just as a terrified scream resounded from the distance.

Across the park, Aaron screamed her name, running like his legs were on fire, until his own muscles wanted to rip themselves from his bones. It felt like that light at the end of the tunnel. He would run and run and run but he would never get any closer, until he found the chill of the water coating him.

His eyes burned against the water but as soon as they opened he saw her, still moving, but barely. It took what felt like 1,000 years to get to her, but he was able to lift her out of the water and onto the bank.

“Call 911!” He screamed to the observer nearby. 

“I did!”

Aaron bent down and pressed his lips to Y/N’s, blowing air inside before rhythmically pressing down on her chest. “Come on, Y/N. Don’t do this.” He repeated the motions over and over and over again. His lungs were on fire. The muscles in his arms were beginning to cramp. He felt like he was going to break her ribs, but finally, she sputtered out water.

“Y/N, oh my god!”

“Why?” She sobbed.

“Because you’re not alone.”


End file.
